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Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #45 – November 14, 2007, 02:25:32 PM

lol - I got that ...

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #46 – November 14, 2007, 02:45:42 PM

what does micheal jackson and k-mart have in common ??? they both have little boys pants half off.....

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #47 – November 14, 2007, 02:47:30 PM

why did O.J. move to mississippi ???? all the D.N.A. is the same.

Why did they throw out the Paule Jones case ?? Because they couldn't believe that a woman with a 6 inch nose couls suck a 3 inch pen 15

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #48 – November 14, 2007, 05:57:08 PM

sorry about the mispell, i was being rushed by another tech to use the computer. sorry to any for the language too.

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #49 – November 29, 2007, 10:36:46 AM

Indian Chief, “Two Eagles,” was asked by a white government official,
“You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars
and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the
damage he’s done.”

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion,
where did the white man go wrong?”

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and
then calmly replied. “When white man find land, Indians running it.
No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, Clean Water; women
did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting
and fishing; all night having shag.”

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. “Only white man dumb enough to
think he can improve system like that.”

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #50 – November 29, 2007, 05:03:09 PM

Two nuns painting a room didn't want to get paint on their clothes so they stripped naked to paint.

Later there was a knock on the door, with someone calling out "Blind man!!"

The nuns figured if the man couldn't see he wouldn't know they were naked and let him in.

The man walked in and said, "Nice s, where do you want the blinds?"

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #51 – November 29, 2007, 05:04:10 PM

A duck walks into a drug store and says "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #52 – November 29, 2007, 08:31:38 PM

A Mexican family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. All the Hispanic facilities were completely full so they had to put him in an Irish home.

After a few weeks in the Irish facility, they came to visit grandpa. "How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.

"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says grandpa.

"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you. You know, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here," grandpa says with a big smile.

"There's a musician here -- he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'!"

"There is a judge in here -- he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him 'Your Honor'!"

"And there's a physician here -- 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!"

"And me -- I haven't had shag for 35 years and they still call me 'The ****ing Mexican'!"

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #53 – November 29, 2007, 08:33:29 PM

this ones been around

A very loud, very unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #54 – November 29, 2007, 11:22:28 PM

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee,
And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"

The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"

He replies, "Because you're ugly."

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #55 – November 29, 2007, 11:30:39 PM

I love those ugly jokes. you can say just about anything till the last line

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #56 – November 29, 2007, 11:36:08 PM

A group of friends went deer
hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the
hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point
buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a
couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and
carried the deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But
I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #57 – November 29, 2007, 11:37:06 PM

The owner of a golf course was confused
about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You
graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I
were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then
replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #58 – November 29, 2007, 11:44:01 PM

Just remember
"You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of anyone retiring to the North!

Joke Thread.....NSFW

Reply #59 – November 30, 2007, 12:17:02 AM

Poor Henry - send that nice secretary after him :D