Dating question

Topic: Dating question (Read 2561 times) previous topic - next topic

Dating question

September 11, 2005, 05:19:43 PM

Ok I think I'm going to start up a bit of controversey but here goes. I've been having a running argument with one of my friends for about a year now about dating and I wanted your guys opinion so I know if I'm right or if I'm just being an a$$. Any ways the argument we are having is about age differences between two people in a relationship. Right now my friend is a 19 year old college sophomore who is dating a 16 year old highschool junior. I think that it isn't right for him to be doing this because of the age difference and the different expectations that highschoolers have on relationships. He wants a serrious relationship and at the age of 16 I don't think that the girl he is with is capable of commiting to just him. I know when I was in highschool I didn't want to settle down with one girl for the rest of my life. That was the furthest thing from my mind. I also think that it is not right for him to be with her because of the legal problems that could arise if they decide to do anything "romantic". This whole problem creeped up again because I went back to my old highschool Friday night to watch my brother play on the football team. While I was there my friend showed up with his girl friend and two of her friends. One of them took a liking to me and wanted me to go out with her on a date. I flatly refused because I felt that it would be improper for me to go out with her because she is 16 and I'm 20. She was a nice girl but I felt that it would be wrong for me to go out with someone who is illegal for me to have any physical contact with. My friend then got involved and said I was being stupid and that it was fine for me to go out with someone who is 4 years younger than me. I told him mabey if I was 24 and she was 20 that I would have no problem with it but I felt that it wouldn't be right for me to go out with her because of the age difference at this point in time. So guys after this long story do you think I acted in the correct manner or am I just an old fashioned guy?

Re: Dating question

Reply #1 – September 11, 2005, 06:14:59 PM

there is no right or wrong answer

right now, im 20, dating a 16 year old, and i dont have a problem with it, while i can see why its frowned down upon, i dont agree with why

most cases, people think im in it for shag, and that a 16 year old would be easy, which isnt the case, my girlfriend and i have a strong relationship, thats barely shagual at this point, it depends on the case

all it boils down to is how you feel about the ordeal, if you dont want to date a 16 year old, dont do it, if you do, then do it

Re: Dating question

Reply #2 – September 11, 2005, 06:33:52 PM

some peope frown upon it I think these days more than ever. My mother was 15 and my Dad 22 when they started dating (she lied and said she was 16 LOL) They have been married 52 years

Re: Dating question

Reply #3 – September 11, 2005, 07:06:01 PM

I´m started to dating a woman with 15 years old ....or 14...... and i have 20 !...

(Sirens........)

Quote

most cases, people think im in it for shag, and that a 16 year old would be easy

ssshhtt.......

Re: Dating question

Reply #4 – September 11, 2005, 08:02:25 PM

Three years seems to be the thing in my family: My mother is three years older than my father, my oldest brother is three years younger than his wife, my next eldest is three years his wife's junior, my sister was three older than her BF, and I was three younger than my ex.

My mother and father met when my father was 16, so she would've been 19, and they've been married for 34 years...

Re: Dating question

Reply #5 – September 11, 2005, 08:08:15 PM

ive been with my now wife since she was 14 and i was 17. weve been together ever since, recently got married. this january would make 9 years together...

Re: Dating question

Reply #6 – September 11, 2005, 08:13:22 PM

I think it all depends on your comfort level. Do what you feel is right for you.
I have the same mind set that you do that it might be awkward dating a 16 year old. I am also 20. I haven't done it partially because many of them are too immature for my taste and partially because of what my family or her family would say. When you are talking about a 16 year old dating a 20 year old, many red flags come up. However just like you said, if you were 24 and she was 20, there should be no problem.

Prime example; my sister is 30. She is now dating a 39(?) year old guy. They get along great and he has basically won over the family so I'm expecting an engagement any week now. It's not a problem because they are both mature adults but when you put it in perspective, if they met and started dating when he was 20, she would have been 11. Talk about what kind of issues that would cause.

Re: Dating question

Reply #7 – September 11, 2005, 10:16:58 PM

Well at least I know I'm not being an a$$. I just don't feel comfortable dating someone that young. I guess it comes down to what each party thinks is right or wrong. My guess is that I'll probibly end up with a younger women when I get married but at that point the age difference should make no difference. I'm not even thinking about that yet. I'm still young and I want to have a little fun be fore I settle down

Re: Dating question

Reply #8 – September 12, 2005, 02:27:37 AM

When I was 19 I started dating my wife when she was 16. I also got her pregnant. Our oldest son just graduated this year so thats a great plus. I would like to say even though it may seem that just a 3 year difference may seem like nothing when you are older such as a 30 year old with a 33 year old, but as you get to the younger ages it does make a big difference. My wife and I did not get married until my oldest son was 9. She had tons of growing up to do and a ton of immaturity problems. Hell, she told me she was 19 (!She sure looked it)and on the pill. Because she was so immature we ended up pregnant. It took may years before she really grew up. Is there a difference between a college Freshman and a highschool junior. Hell yes! Just because there is grass on the feild doesnt mean you can play ball. Right now just try to stick to girls in your college. They have the same goals and drive you have. As you get older a 3-10 year age difference wont matter, but a teen is a teen. Steer clear. Jsut ask some of us who have 18 year "sentences" paying some chick child support. My oldest son is 18 and I tell him the same thing. Just my 2 cents

Re: Dating question

Reply #9 – September 12, 2005, 01:53:02 PM

my wife is 4 years younger but we didn't start dating till she was 18 and in college. I think there is a big diffence in that age range (edit: 16 -20) when you look at 4 years. she still just wants to hang out and buy jeans, when you are looking at a carreer and family, just too much diffence at that age IMO. college starts to mature a person pretty fast.

but it has been fine for lots and lots of ppl. I just wouldn't have done it personally when I was that age.

Re: Dating question

Reply #10 – September 12, 2005, 02:10:55 PM

Quote from: shame302

ive been with my now wife since she was 14 and i was 17. weve been together ever since, recently got married. this january would make 9 years together...

That's the same scenario as with my parents. But they got married when Mum was 17.

Ange is 24 days younger than I am, though. I think the closer in age the better, actually. That doesn't mean I dissaprove of a reasonable age gap (the older the easier it is to understand), it's just when you're the same age, you have more in common, since you grew up witnessing the same events and trends.

Re: Dating question

Reply #11 – September 12, 2005, 02:40:33 PM

Heh...when I was 21-22....I wound up dating a succession of 17 year olds (Srs. in HS)....never planned it that way. I didn't ask them for ID's when we met. Later it was "You're how old? Oh well", and we continued on until the relationship ended.

The gal I was dating a couple years ago before my wife and I got together was 14 years younger than me. I was 34 and she was 20.....and she had been waiting for me to approach her for almost 2 years!!! *slaps forehead*.

I've never put too much emphasis on ages. Just whoever I connect with is what's important. It just so happens that of all the girls I've been with, all but 3 have been younger than me....some much younger. It happens.

Re: Dating question

Reply #12 – September 12, 2005, 02:47:41 PM

As long as they are mature. Some girls at the high school age are pretty mature for their age while others...well they think their life is like an episode of "The OC". I'm 23 and last winter dated a girl who was a senior in HS. She was 18 but wow the maturity level was just not there...boy was that annoying. Don't know if I'd date a girl that young again or not. I'm starting to think girls my age or older women is where it's at.

Re: Dating question

Reply #13 – September 12, 2005, 02:56:31 PM

Quote from: RDOG

Just because there is grass on the feild doesnt mean you can play ball.

as long as you have a catchers mit it does

same thing that happened with Chuck is happening with me, i keep meting 16 year old after 16 year old, and so far, the age ordeal hasnt been to major, untill it comes to stupid things like curfew

Re: Dating question

Reply #14 – September 12, 2005, 02:59:18 PM

I can't believe all the positive responses to this!

Don't do it, nothing but trouble, grow up, keep it over 18. It can lead to rape charges and then you get to register as a shag offender.

The cops came by the other day and said that a registered shag offender moved into my neighborhood and give me a flyer. This poor 20 year old guy was fooling around with a 16 year old and did not even have shag yet, just feeling her out. The parents called the cops and he got now he's a registered shag offender.

Why would you want a girl that not even graduated from high school yet? Now days I would be scared to death.

Thunderjet302 is an extremely smart guy but I'm really starting to wonder about the rest of you. Just because it worked for your parents in another generation does not mean it will work now.

TED