I'm out for a while

Topic: I'm out for a while (Read 5873 times) previous topic - next topic

I'm out for a while

Reply #30 – October 18, 2011, 06:39:27 AM

can anyone give me advice on how to sleep? I havent slept alone in about 4 years and its just not working. I hate it I hate all of this....... :(

I'm out for a while

Reply #31 – October 18, 2011, 08:10:06 AM

The sleep part won't be easy for a while. I had to find that rest and sleep are two different things. Rest, about an hour before you go to sleep. I used music. Something easy to listen to, calming, and used ear buds so there were no noises but the music, and just let everything go. Not easy in your situation,though. Your mind probably isn't thinking of anything else, which is understandable. It'll be a re-training of your brain. It took a long time to get used to the life you have, and it'll take time to adapt to different routines. Read a book. I am not an avid reader, but when you read a book, no pictures, your brain has to occupy itself by taking in what messages your eyes are sending, and understanding those messages.It's a quiet distraction. During the waking hours, early, work on the car. Stay mildly busy. It gives your thought process something else to do. Idle time can really wear you out. You naturally think of all of this every minute of every day, and that will literally, physically, wear you down. Find the things that make you happy, surround yourself with positive things, positive people, and start making your life what you need it to be. Don't wait for anyone else, start changing things for yourself in a positive way. It probably wouldn't hurt to start looking at her as a "friend" (trust me here), so that, 1.you can keep things functional between you two for the kids and so that constant hatred or dislike doesn't make every single time you have to talk a challenge, and 2. it'll make moving forward a lot easier. No, you don't have to like what is happening, but you do have to accept that things are as they are. If you can accept it (I'm not saying agree),you'll find peace a lot faster. Learn to live and be happy and get along without a significant other, then you'll be ready for someone who who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

I'm out for a while

Reply #32 – October 18, 2011, 08:59:31 AM

Well said Vinnie, I immersed myself in working on the Sport to keep my mind busy. Listened to the radio alot and got lost in the music. I also talked to my doctor about how I was feeling, even before the breakup and she gave me a prescription that helped alot. I found that I wasn't happy before we split, and now I'm beginning to get better and better. Just don't beat yourself up over everything, it isn't all your fault, no matter what anyone thinks it was mutual. Things will get better, might take awhile but it will. Just hang in there.

I'm out for a while

Reply #33 – October 18, 2011, 03:11:11 PM

i think vinnie was a shrink in a past life :p but i definitely agree with sinking into a project.. it's good for the soul and when you've got music playing, it's very easy to get lost in what you're doing.. plus i remember seeing a rod bearing on facebook that wasn't too prettty, so there's a good project to get into lol

I'm out for a while

Reply #34 – October 18, 2011, 07:57:10 PM

I wasn't a shrink, but I did take a lot of psych in college as well as working with veteran's with PTSD and other issues, plus other things daily for what seems to be forever (last 18 years or so). I've learned what works most of the time, how to deal with people in most cirspoogestances.

I'm out for a while

Reply #35 – October 18, 2011, 08:12:14 PM

I just want to add alcohol will not help at this time in your life , I know it hadn't been mentioned but I wanted to throw it out there .

I'm out for a while

Reply #36 – October 18, 2011, 09:52:37 PM

Quote from: hypostang;370512

I just want to add alcohol will not help at this time in your life , I know it hadn't been mentioned but I wanted to throw it out there .

couldn't agree more.. i quit drinking almost completely.. i'll drink a little smirnoff ice once in a while, but not enough to even get buzzed.. life is much better without alcohol

I'm out for a while

Reply #37 – October 18, 2011, 10:46:37 PM

Quote from: Shadow;370521

couldn't agree more.. i quit drinking almost completely.. i'll drink a little smirnoff ice once in a while, but not enough to even get buzzed.. life is much better without alcohol

I can honestly say, I've never drank any alcohol beverage. Never even had a desire to try it.

I'm out for a while

Reply #38 – October 18, 2011, 10:59:44 PM

if i could go back in time, it'd be the same for me.. it does nothing but tear you apart and make you miserable

I'm out for a while

Reply #39 – October 19, 2011, 12:34:46 AM

she is gone, and I am done trying and wasting my time. all of this is just a sick game in her head.

I'm out for a while

Reply #40 – October 19, 2011, 12:42:17 AM

sounds like the perfect oportunity to get more involved in car stuff.
keep you occupied on something you enjoy.

I'm out for a while

Reply #41 – October 19, 2011, 06:58:50 AM

if I could get my head clear enough to work on my car that would be no problem, but this vast nothingness here at home is very unmotivational.

I'm out for a while

Reply #42 – October 19, 2011, 07:43:33 AM

Focus Grasshopper. Focus on today. Not yesterday. Do all you can with the day ahead of you. The past will keep you from moving forward. The future isn't here yet. Today is what you need to work on. Rent a couple of good movies, get a book, some new CD's (not slow soft music, but something that makes you want to move),make SURE you're eating right (yes, it really does matter), and maybe, join a gym. Since I joined mine, I've had energy I forgot I used to have, plus, it's a good release of whatever emotions you need to get out of you.

Now Grasshopper, when you can c00ch pebble from my hand, you will be free.

I'm out for a while

Reply #43 – October 19, 2011, 08:05:05 AM

Well bro, it sucks, but these things happen. I can assure you, there is another woman out there that is better for you than her. You dont think so, you say? She is the bees knees, you say? Well take a look at these figures.

The U.S. Census Bureau announced today that the 2010 Census showed the resident population of the United States on April 1, 2010, was 308,745,538.

Lets assume that now, there are still 300 million people in the good ol' USA. Out of that 300 million we will say 100 million are women. (In the world today there are more women than men, but I couldnt find the exact figures for the USA, so we will play it safe by saying 100 million.) Out of those 100 million, its safe to say that at least 30 million are single and between the ages of 18-80yrs old. Out of those 30 million single women ranging from 18-80yrs old, split up evenly in 10yr brackets (18 and 19 will be included in the 20's bracket) That would equal 5 million single women within 10yrs of your age. Just to give you an idea, there are only 2.8 million people in Kansas.

So out of these 5 million single women in your age bracket in the USA... There has to be one thats better for you than the one that left. Hope that helps with positive thinking. You would be surprised what positive thinking can do for you in a situation like this.

I'm out for a while

Reply #44 – October 19, 2011, 06:46:55 PM

I started to eat so much better after I moved back in with my family. In two months I gained about 35 pounds. At 6'5", there is no way I could be healthy at 165lbs. You need to remove yourself from the situation and do what is right for you. As far as the kids go, buy diapers, buy clothes, but do not give out any money.