Chain letters

March 16, 2005, 04:37:48 PM

I got this in my e-mail today and had to share it because it is too funny.

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making Me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern... I no longer
can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink
Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists
who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in
the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return
on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive
packages from UPS or FedEx since they are Actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I
no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
troops. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat prepackaged
foods because the estrogens they Contain will turn me gay. I no longer eat
KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no
eyes or feathers. I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and
take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice. Thanks
to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an
email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes. I no longer
have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for
the past seven years. I no longer have any money at all, but that will
change once I Receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me
for partiting in their special e-mail program. I will now return the
favor. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next
60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 pm
and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this
will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a
friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer.

Re: Chain letters

Reply #1 – March 16, 2005, 05:03:02 PM

OMG that has to be the single strangest thing i have ever sean on the internet!!!!

Re: Chain letters

Reply #2 – March 16, 2005, 06:44:55 PM

I personally like the Fedex and Ups are al queida thats frickin funny