Here's to you, Chuck.

Reply #30 – February 04, 2006, 12:16:51 PM

If you spell Chuck W in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Here's to you, Chuck.

Reply #31 – February 04, 2006, 03:55:42 PM

Here we go modified for Chuck W

Chuck W's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

Chuck W does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck W is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck W is pain.

If you can see Chuck W, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck W, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck W has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck W does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck W's blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.

Chuck W is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a ****ing Indian.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck W, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck W's beard. There is only another fist.

Additional Chuck W Facts
Chuck W once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck W's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Chuck W is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck W out. It failed miserably.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck W, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck W has 72... and they're all poisonous.

If you ask Chuck W what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck W drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

When Chuck W sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck W has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck W's fist.

Chuck W invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

Chuck W can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck W allows to live.

Chuck W once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having shag with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck W's victims
before they died? His shoe.

Chuck W is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck W as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck W doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck W doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck W and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck W will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

Someone once videotaped Chuck W getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

If you spell Chuck W in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck W originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Chuck W replied, "That's no glitch."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck W once and he will **** you up.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck W played in second grade.

Chuck W once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck W once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck W re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

Chuck W has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck W that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck W once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he ped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck W is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck W.

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck W's warm-up exercises.

Chuck W is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck W turned that wine into beer.

Chuck W can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The **** was That?"

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck W.

Chuck W discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck W is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck W roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck W doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

The Chuck W military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck W could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck W could use to kill you, including the room itself.

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck W walks.

Here's to you, Chuck.

Reply #32 – February 04, 2006, 04:08:59 PM

Hahaha got to love Micorsoft Word's replace feature.