my car as no power
Reply #3 –
Have a slow cat?
The cure: Turpentine for a Cat's ass...
It's best to have the help of a very trusted, extremely close-mouthed friend, as the following is very dangerous procedure, often leading to scratch and bite marks in areas best not suited to scratch and bite marks. Or trouble with the authorities, your wife/girlfriend/sister/mother or any PETA member. (ha!)
Directions:
1. Firmly grasp cat, taking great care to maintain tight grip of cat's neck.
2. Take stiff wire bristle brush; the kind commonly used for cleaning BBQ grilles are considered adequate.
3. Briskly brush cat's ass with grille brush in fast, side-to-side motions, personally, I've read that the louder the cats becomes on each successive brushstroke, the cleaner the ass of said cat becomes.
4. After Ass of Cat is amply brushed, apply sufficient quantity of turpentine on ass of cat.
5. After turpentine is applied, numerous anonymous persons have reported it most favorable to rapidly hurl cat in a direction and velocity away from body of person(s) applying turpentine, so as to substantially minimize aforementioned scratches and bites. This will also greatly increase the safety of other valuables in the immediate vicinity, such as cars, dogs, other cats, and innocent bystanders. Children in the area should watch behind a safe, secure object, such as a solid door, or inside a vehicle with closed windows.
6. Immediatly after sucessful completion of turpentine application, use all hast to dispose of, or discard brush and turpentine, lest these be used against you in some sort of legal process.
Cat should then have vigor and power returned, more than ample speed restored, quite possibly leading to cat becoming airborne on slight grades and inclines.
DISCLAIMER: Not responsible for any/all conflicts arising from such actions, nor the implication that this should be attempted to any cat residing within 5 miles of you own residence, lest you find your dog stuffed in a lit BBQ grille.
(brats taste better, so i'm informed)
Now, seriously, sounds like the catalytic convertor is plugged.
Since it's against (federal, perhaps) laws to tamper with emissions equipment, i'd advise against it. (we wont mention that my truck and tbird both have "modified" exhausts)
Gut the cat(s) and replace exhaust, and enjoy restored power, and mileage. Or replace with a high-flow cat and X or H pipe..
(now before you cat lovers get all pissy at me, i have 2 cats of my own, and would never put turpentine on their asses. this was a joke...a JOKE!)
LOL
Topic: my car as no power (Read 1714 times)
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