Yeah so let me start from the top i need som uhh pointers, i have been outta the loop my whole highschool career and now need some i guess help. Yeah its been about 5 years since i have had a girlfriend since about 7th grade....... its been long. But anyway i want to try and get back into it any suggestions.
I'll post it again.
(http://zxmclean.711.hopto.org/~mike/pictures/girlsevil.jpg)
1) The most important thing is to be confident about yourself. They don't like insecure guys, they want to feel safe when they're with a guy.
2) Take the time to actually LISTEN to what she has to say. You'd be surprised at the results.
3) Be the first to make a move, but don't be too sudden about it. Play it cool and wait till the time's right. In case this fails, be prepared to apologize.
4) It's not a drag race, it's more like a long enduring marathon. Take the dates slow and steady and in the end you'll turn out to be the winner.
That's all I can think of for now.
Well I sure can't give you any pointers. I meet a girl about once in a blue moon (where the hell are all the single chicks?) and when I do, I can't seem to make anything last longer than a month.
and dont forget no matter what you know they are ALL WAYS RIGHT about everything. lol . good luck. i find just being me works. if they dont like you for who you are then move on to the next.
Im in the same boat sort-of.
Every time I get to talking with one and I think all is going well, I hear something that usually starts with "my boyfriend..." :nutkick:
I've found a few that like me for who I am, a "very sweet and nice guy" as I'm told, but then turn for the typical a-hole which I'm not. Then they come crying to me when something bad happens and tell me again how sweet I am. :confused:
I guess you have to start out being an ass, then morph back into mr. nice guy. Haven't tried that yet but it may be worth a shot.
Im in the same boat sort-of.
Every time I get to talking with one and I think all is going well, I hear something that usually starts with "my boyfriend..." :nutkick:
I've found a few that like me for who I am, a "very sweet and nice guy" as I'm told, but then turn for the typical a-hole which I'm not. Then they come crying to me when something bad happens and tell me again how sweet I am. :confused:
I guess you have to start out being an ass, then morph back into mr. nice guy. Haven't tried that yet but it may be worth a shot.
God how many times i have heard that one
what ever you do not get into online long distance relationships .
Z
youre on the right track, but not quite, you have to be both an asshole, and mr. nice guy
its like the guys who are funny as hell, theyre funny and make jokes, but when a serious matter comes up, the joke ends
im an ass to my girlfriend, not like beating her, cussing at her, insulting her, but calling out her mistakes, stupid shiznit she does, i do make fun of her a bit, but if it upsets her, i will apologise, and if she needs me for something, or a serious issue, im there for her and the asshole side stops
online relationships are a waste of time, ive been in them, and i know a few others here have been too, waste of time
biggest thing i can say, is dont act like youre totally interested, you need a girl to work as much as you do, and if they dont, the relationship doesnt begin, because they put no effort out
generally, i just chill, do my own thing, meet people, talk to them like normal people, and go from there
Well I havent had much luck lately. I work with a girl and her mom that i tried to get with. She is so nice and so HOT!!!! She just got out of a really long relationship, and i was the friend to comfort her. Then i tried to get somewhat more involved and it worked, but she doesnt want another relationship. Her family was kinda dissapointed at her decision, they all like me. Now im just a really good friend and its still cool.
Just try and be their friend just talk and listen. If you find one just talk and then ask them to do something. Then keep making more plans with them until it happens. Take it slow.
One thing I've found out is that the "good friend" thing does NOT work. You're either an acquaintance and then go to boyfriend, or an acquaintance and then go to good friend. Good friend to boyfriend is very rare, as in I have yet to see it happen. Something seems to click in her head and it just blocks all romance-related thoughts. Very strong doses of alcohol might work in unblocking it :evilgrin:
Read this first and then reconsider dating: http://foxtbirdcougarforums.com/showthread.php?t=4286
I had the whole "I've got a boyfriend" thing happen to me more than once, and right now as well. She's approaching me as though shes single, then reveals the boyfriend fact. Ah, I'll go for it anyway. My ex is now with a prick who did the same thing, maybe I should jump on the opportunity and to hell with the other guy. All's fair in love and war, correct?
I wish I could give you dating advice, but my history with the lassies has been sketchy at best.
If finding a woman was fishing, I'd be the guy who fell in the river, and found a trout in his boot. Meanwhile, I wasn't even fishing, nor do I even like fish. You see where I'm going with this?
I have no idea how or why I'm married.
You Must Think Like A Pimp
this man has the right idea!
if the relationship gets wrecked, its not your fault, its her fault, so theres no worry there, just stay out of sight of the other dude
we're all too young to be missing out on opportunity, in highschool, i missed out on a few of the hottest girls in the school, because i was taken, and was hell bent on staying with this girl, for the relationship to ultimately fail, her to move on to being a slut and a pothead, and me missing out on so many opportunities its not funny
youre single untill you get married, dating or in a relationship doesnt mean your taken, that just means your on a highway, but there are rest stops on exits on that highway...
Oh come on Shawn. Doing the right thing and doing what is most fun are not always one in the same. You were right to stay with that girl in high school. What did you miss? Who knows. But you sure did gain a lot of life experience and I bet you are more careful and observant next time so that the same thing does not happen again. If you dump your current girl whenever someone better looking or more interesting comes along then you are no better than the girl that leads a guy on only to tell him later that she is in a relationship with someone else.
jkirchmen, while i do somewhat agree with what youre saying, the relationship wasnt worthwhile at all, seeing as her and i have been over for 2 years, and i regret being with her as long as i was, because there was a lot more BS than the relationship is worth
the only thing i learned is that i have amazing willpower *rolls eyes*
at this age, doing what is right doesnt get you anywhere, i did what was right for 18 of my 20 years, and it got me nowhere, and while im still a good guy, and not unfaithful, i still do whats mostly right, and its still not getting me anywhere
thats why i just say live it up, if someone worthwhile comes along, do whats right, but untill then, who cares? the girl im with is not marriage material, nor do i really care about getting married, so f-it, im out to have fun
And that would be a General Law.....
I have seen many of my friends that had 4 or 5 years with the same relationship and only had 19.....
And that would be at the constitution....
In some cases, the "good-friend" fact can get effect when you are smart doing your moves, but otherwise is one of the most stupidest things in the planet, for me. The women dont like to date with people that knows her very much. It´s for them like dating with a gynecologist, they dont trust in a man that knows more than them of your v@gina...
(mental image)
The long distance relationships are a total waste of time, many of times without refund. I have been on one and now one hates to other and viceversa. ...
(http://teaca.iespana.es/almacen/Cougar.jpg)
Well if doing what is right gets you nowhere then doing what you know not to be right is going to get you nowhere even faster.
I think that short sightedness makes the "do it if it feels good" attitude seem to be the best choice. But long-term you'll be happier with yourself if you don't compromise your integrity and character in the pursuit of short term fun.
Thanks for all the input guys, and im the nervous type i start to stutter and shiznit but thanks for all the help.
[singing]
Shawn's gon-na be a pla-ya....
Shawn's gon-na be a pla-ya.... ;)
I'm not trying to jump on the 'pick on shawn' bandwagon, but this quote..
.. does she know this? I've yet to meet a girl that wouldn't be devastated by that comment. Women are emotional creatures. You've got to respect that, man. :dunno:
Anyway, I've been where you are. It's called bitter, and it's not going to help you out down the road.
Yeah.. Shawn's a man-wh0re.
yes, she does know this, and she understands, she wasnt happy with it, but she cant do much about it, im not going to lie to her and be like "oh baby, i want to marry you and have a house and a family", to hell with that, im blunt and to the point
its not called bitter, its called real
how many of you guys right now have kicked yourself in the ass because youve missed out on something? think about it like this
i was in a relationship in highschool, i missed out on quite a bit of good times, not even just shag, but just a lot of fun, for the relationship to ultimately fail in a more painful manner than it could have. so there i was, all hurt and depressed because the relationship ended and hurt bad, AND i was kicking myself in the ass
That is real life. And
identical to what I went through in Highschool. And yes, what you are now is bitter. Do you need a definition?
Experiences like this are supposed to make you stronger, not an ass hole. I guess it did take me a good four or five years to realise that, so you've got some more time ahead of you to blame yourself, or your ex, for having your own life experiences. You've got to curb this attitude eventually though, man. Otherwise, prepare to be a very unhappy old man.
Think about it. You let your past experiences bother and change you so much that you would say something extremelly hurtful to your new girlfriend, who for some stroke of luck didn't walk out your front door on the spot. You haven't learned a thing from it.
This shiznit's too ****ing serious. Believe it or not, I am trying to help you out here.
ive always been an asshole, anyone thats known me knows im an asshole, im sorry that im able to do the things i want to do rather than go by what i think is "right or wrong", i live it up and have fun, if i find someone i want to settle down with, i will settle down, right now, im in it for fun
you know why i said it? i put it out there rather early because i dont want her laying in her bed thinking about a wedding, i dont want her having all the thoughts of children, a house, families, and all of that , when i know its not going to happen, should i let her have all of these thoughts, then she thinks we're getting married one day, for me to crush it and break up with her?
im blunt and to the point, i dont play mind games, if i dont like something, i say it, i dont lead people on, im not a tease, i am who i am, and i dont sugar coat a thing when i talk to someone, if they dont like me when im not being fake to their face, they arnt worth my time
and you wonder why your married?
And you think that you telling her you aren't interested is keeping her from having those thoughts? Yeah right. There ain't a woman alive that doesn't think about that stuff regardless of what their boyfriend tells them.
I believe that. I took a girl to my Junior prom that I hardly knew. When I saw her in history a couple days after the prom, I noticed her and her friend were writing on paper, her first name with my last name. This wasn't out of bordom, they were smiling and glancing over at me. I got turned down when I asked her out.
Getting turned down seems to happen alot now adays. Im glad im only starting my senior year of high school. Time to party it up. Screw all of this getting to know them shiznit, cuz next year im leaving the state for uti. I dont try to play them, i am completely honest, but somehow it always seems like i do. Oh well all i know is stay away from the sluts. If you dont, you will meet a little gnome named syphyllus and he will lead you down a path of pain and despair and at the end of that path are 2 signs, insanity and death. I have learned alot in my 17 years, believe it or not. Am i the youngest person one HERE?
the difference is the fact that she wont get her hopes up
Ok, since there's all this relationship/dating/marriage talk going on... am I crazy for seriously thinking about marriage with my current girlfriend? Ash and I have been together for 3 years exactly today. We've talked about marriage quite a bit, both agreed on a simple, maybe Vegas wedding, sort of a surprise thing. Come back from a vegas vacation... "We got married!" Am I crazy? I'm 22... nearly done with school. She's got a pretty good job working at a photography firm. She's 20. Am I nuts?
I don't think you're nuts. You are nuts if there is any doubt between you two of your love and commitment towards eachother.
My cousin just turned 21 and he is getting married in a couple weeks. He just bought a house that he and his bride-to-be are fixing up together. She's committed to him and he's committed to her. It's a match made in heaven.
Nah Brian you aren't crazy. But I bet your relationship changes after you get married. Marriage does something that I can't really explain. There aren't very many other things you can do that will (or are supposed) to commit you to something for the rest of your life.
The longer you two are together, the more she will get her hopes up. Regardless of what you tell her.
Not at all, man. :) Ange and I were talking marriage after about a year, and after a year and a half, she had a ring on her finger. It took another three+ years to get married though. Engaged by 21, married at 25. :)
My advice to you is see if you two can live together before tieing the knot. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I think that's the case because you actually have to live in the same house with them. Our first year married was smooth sailing, but our first year living together was rocky, to say the least.
Well this might be off the current topic a little bit but to answer the original question I'm going to give ya a few guidlines for meeting women.
1. When you want to meet women you have to carry youself a certain way ie comb your hair and don't look like a slob. Put a little effort into the way you look. Women think that if you atleast try to look nice that you aren't a total slob (I am :giggle: but they don't know it). When you walk into a room try to stand as tall as you can so you look like you are confident and have pride in yourself.
2. Figure out who you want to talk to. A good rule of thumb is that if the girl has a ring on her right hand she's avaliable. If it's on her left hand RUN. Left hand rings usually mean a boyfriend or even marriage. The tricky part is when they don't have any rings. They could still have a boyfriend but don't feel like wearing jewlry that day or they might not have a boyfriend. It's up to you to determine if you want to talk to them or not.
3. The easiest way to start a conversation is to ask them about a particular item that they are wearing or that they have near them. Ask them about the ring on their right index finger for example. It starts up a conversation and it also allows you to find out discreatly if they have a boyfriend or not. Say something to the effect of "I noticed that the ring you are wearing spells out something do you mind if I ask what it says" or something similar to that.
4. The most important thing is to be yourself. If you start off by telling a lie you'll have to make up other lies to cover it. Pretty soon you won't be able to tell what is a lie and what isn't anymore and you'll just end up getting youself into more trouble.
I'm 20 but usuong these guidlines I have been able to meet quite a few girls. Not all of them have become girl friends. Some have become friends and some just went away beacuse of things the girl did (I started the "Are women nuts" thread, read it for future refference). As you talk to more girls you'll become more confident and eventually you'll meet someone. For instance right now I'm working on a set of single hot twins :banana: :ies: :banana: :ies: :banana: :ies: and I hope to eventually have a shot at going out with one or both of them. If nothing happens oh well. If things don't go your way with a girl then just pick yourself up and start over. There are plenty of single girls out there so just keep trying.