and god promised good and obedient wives in all corners of the world,,, then he made the earth round......... and laughed and laughed and laughed.
i tried to catch some fog but mist
i know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid,, he says he can stop any time.
i stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me
a dyslexic man walks into a bra
energizer bunny arrested,,, charged with battery
how do you make holy water,,,,,,,,,,, you boil the hell out of it
what does a clock do when its hungry,,,, it goes back four seconds
i wondered why the baseball was getting bigger,, then it hit me
broken pencils are pointless
Heh heh heh thanks Scott the only one I've heard before was the Energizer bunny.
I love puns. Love 'em and my snob co-worker can keep parroting that it's "not an acceptable form of comedy" all he wants. I'm gonna keep laughing.
Anything that makes you laugh is an acceptable form of comedy.
That's pretty good lmao
Thanks for the chuckle. Just joined the forum today and browsing about. seems like a great site.
It's only great when it doesn't Grate on you. Ha ha ha ha
It's better to be thought a fool...than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Women and cats will do as they please, men and dogs should relax and get used to the notion.
Easy money ain't, in the end.
Evel Knievel's son is going to attempt a stunt in his father's memory...jumping over 150 Obama voters...in a Cat D8.
She's got a face that would make a train take a dirt road.
I hunt, therefore I am.
When in doubt, delegate all responsibility to a subordinate, if you're boss, go fishing. And if you're the husband, buy flowers.
The other day, my sorta not so car-savvy friend came over, as I was getting ready to stick the 5.0 into the Mustang. He asks; "What are ya doin with the "HO"?" I reply "gettin' ready to stick it in!" He got excited and started counting his money out to me.
Silly fool...I'm a mechanic, not a pimp!
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
The tossed salad. Still not acceptable to order at Hooter's locations. But if those owls don't stop staring at my eyes, I'm going to order the milk, done rare.
I hate tacos. Said no Juan ever.
Which American president was least guilty? Lincoln. He was in a cent.
Did you hear about the guy that rode his donkey 150 miles in seven days? Turns out he was just sittin around on his ass all week..
After many many years of intensive, expensive, and very in depth research, 326 scientists, doctors, and physicists concluded that the leading cause of death is birth.
Is life rough? Economy got ya down? Car won't start? Wife fooling around on ya? Treat it like your dog. shiznit on it, and walk away.
Clear and Present Danger. No, not the Tom Clancy book. I just broke another wineglass in the sink.
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in the shade and drink beer all ed day.
Women, when something needs repaired around the house, there's no need to remind the man of the house about it more than once every 6 months or so...
The other day, I was putting a new roof on the house in 105 degree heat. Then it came to me...this is how a rump roast feels in the crock pot. Thank god there wasn't a carrot up there, though...the spuds were well done, however!
You've never underwent true adversity until you put up a Christmas tree with cats in the house...
Someone called me a lazy dog yesterday. I got all indignant and mad, and stormed out. Why, the hell with them! I don't lay around all day and kiss ass!
Two birds in the hand is NOT worth one in the bush....unless those birds have shiznit gold!
Guy pulls up next to me at the light the other day..says "That's a nice ride, but it sounds like the motor isn't running right." "That's ok, I replied back, it gets great mileage with 4 plug wires unhooked. Want to run 'em?" Chickenshiznits these days...afraid of a little ole cammed 5.0....
I know you want more, but this is all I can handle tonight. (That's what SHE said!)