Fox T-Bird/Cougar Forums

Discuss ...

I never had to pay for a date. If you have that kind of opinion,and you're over 30, maybe it's you, and not the girl your dating.  If you go into a date with high expectations, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment. You really need to elaborate on why you feel that way. You kind of left it wide open.

I don't date and I have no use for a prostitute , I'm too busy as a single dad for either one .    :dunno:

I've been a single parent. I know what you mean. I have Gayle now,and have for 18 years. Would NOT trade her. In the end,my dad taught me, it's not having what you want....it's wanting what you have.

I don't feel that way. I just heard somebody say something along those lines, so I thought I'd throw it out there. See what makes my fellow Cougarbird owners tick.

Now, when I was younger, I got played like a fiddle, I'll tell ya. Maybe that's why, huh?

Now, there was one time, Eric & Jorge even warned me, "Scott, it's probably best not to dip the pen in company ink," when I was talking to them about a girl I worked with that I was dating. Well, to make a long story short ...

We'd gone out twice, then her early-90's Buick Century got totaled. Well, I knew a lawyer that hooked me up with some good shiznit to mail to the other driver's insurance, so I did that. Well, she got back 3 times what the insurance company was going to give her. As soon as that check came, so was the girl.

Then, after a bit, I found my wife ...I reckon things work out for the best :)

Sometimes you get exactly what you pay for.

i've had so much trouble with finding a good girl i've decided it just aint worth it anymore. I gave 1 girl 3 yrs and she got preggo by another guy and left and took the ring with her, everysince then i've had nothing but trouble so i just said F it ya know lol

There are a LOT of factors. Just because a couple of girls are bad doesn't mean they all are,and you can't judge one by what another did. Also,I'm a firm believer that MOST of the time you shouldn't be at bars or places like that to to find someone (you can meet THE one anywhere,there are always exceptions). These days too many people never really KNOW the person they are with. They want "right now".and then end up disappointed when it turns bad in the future. I'm not built to be single. Just the plain truth. I like being married,and have no desire for anyone but her. he takes great care of me. We started out just talking...no dating,no nothing. We got closer and closer and then we just "happened". I never wanted to grow old and be alone. I see that a lot where I work. Not for me. I was very lucky to be able to marry the one I really want to be with. I didn't have to "settle" for what I could get. She's more than everything I ever wanted from a woman. We've had our differences,arguments,etc,but in the end,we still love each other and wouldn't be anywhere else. Often these days....more often than not, people get in an argument, see things differently, and break up,or divorce. There's not much staying power anymore. People have no coping skills and patience to work things out. It's a give and take. You have to accept each other as different people with different likes and dislikes, different opinions and feelings. The grass is not always greener on the other side,and there's NO way I'm going to risk everything I have for a few minutes with someone else. i have everything right here.

I'll open up a little about my experiences.

I've had several girlfriends, and as some here may know, just got married for the second (and the last) time.

I've learned that:
The grass may be greener on the other side, but it doesn't last long.
Keep your pickle in one jar.
Karma, no matter who you f*ck, karma will always be there to f*ck you right back.

With that said, the first marriage I had was a bloody disaster. We always fought, usually it was physical, I have some scars, mental and otherwise from her. I lost a lot of money and sanity and sleep over her, but ya know, I think I'm a better person, I stuck it out 5 years, hoping she'd grow up a little and see what she had, but in the end, in April/May 2006, I stepped away from the addictions, the selfish people in my life, and her. I had my doubts, and those lonely summer nights of 2006 when I literally had no one to talk to was probably the worst time of my life. I had a relapse in November of '06, I won't go into that, but thankfully by then I had a close friend here keeping track of me, and when I got too far out, she was there to reel me back. Then, January of '08 I met Nicole, found a job, and then in March, she came to my work with a pregnancy test...

Well, that was almost 3 years ago, I've also got a daughter now. Nicole is my wife, my friend, my soul mate.

And to think I was about to give up, and say "shag it all."...
I'm very thankful that I didn't pull the trigger that night, in November, when I was cold, and all alone.

 Women.
The right one is out there somewhere. Sitting around, feeling sorry, and kicking yourself in your testicles won't bring her to your door. Get off your ass and go get her, lol.

Oh, now that I've bared my soul (somewhat) I'm gonna go hide for awhile, don't tear the place up too much while I'm gone.
(don't worry, just gonna spend a lot of daytime (aside from work) cutting wood and outdoor farm stuff. nothing self-destructive. that shiznit is in the past. :bowdown:

Merry Christmas to all, regardless of faith.

well i got more than i bargined for. And looking back on the past few weeks i should of done this sooner. but now that it has happened my worst fears came tue. my wife basically took everything i owned becides my clothes tools and the thunderbird. Even though the thunderbird got vandalized by her younger bro. So now im sitting at my moms in the throws of a bitter devorce. And facing a life where i was almost to the top of a mountan and now i look at that same mountan from the bottom. And looking at the long hike ahead. Thats why ive been kinda absent from here. But im back and stronger than ever. And im surrounded by my family and friends. And i know some day ill be on top again.

 
Be strong bro.  You aren't alone.  Im going through it too right now.  Back in August I came home from a business trip to find my wife gone and a 4 page letter stuck to the fridge.  I felt like i'd never be human again, very hollow, and living a pointless existence.  If you're work offers counseling, take it.  If they don't.  Go find some.  You'll have good days and bad days but as time passes, the good outweighs the bad.  Like you, im thankful I have good friends who are helping me through this really tough time in my life.  Friends both in my day to day life and online.

Scott, as far as your topic goes, I suppose one could say he was buyshagual. Meaning you BUY your shag:rollin:

As for me, I've only had 2 real girlfriends, once in high school, and one after, the latter is currently Mrs. sarjxxx:D

We "dated" for a while back in high school and realized neither one of us really wanted a relationship but we stayed friends for years and right after my girl left me a few years later, I called her the next day to tell her about it, only to find that hers had left her too 3 days earlier. So we started hanging out again. Eventually one thing turned into another, then another...and so on. And now we've been together for almost 4 years, and will be our first anny in March.

She's the best and yeah we fight (literally) and yell and scream but there are always more good times than bad, and the good is really great. And to be honest, I really hope I never have to hit the dating scene again, cause I AM NOT good at it, and I would probably end up like your title;)

I will start out by saying I have been married for 29yrs and we have been together for over 32yrs. Neither one of us is the same person we were so many yrs ago. We have grown up together, both the good and the bad. We have had many good times and bad ones too, at one point it looked like we weren't going to make it. I see the biggest problem with relationships is people don't know who they are and most don't have the strength and incite to look at themselves and say "I'm an asshole or I'm acting like an asshole" then to go about fixing it. So we enter into a relationship with someone just as screwed up as we are and wonder why it doesn't work out and it has to be the other ones fault.
We need to know who we are as people, then the really hard part is trying to find someone who knows who they are too. Then you can start building a relationship, and still it will not be perfect and you will still argue but remember to do it respectfully. Just remember we only have so much time to make our mark, do it right, be kind to others and embrace the simple things in life. I have learned and still learning to appreciate even the simplest things in life, a sunrise or a rainy day, our 2 great kids (kids haha 25 & 22) my beautiful wife, a house and food in the kitchen. I could go on and on but I hope this helps even if it's just one .

As with alot of you I've been through the ringer as well. I've entered my third marrage in july of this year. Sharrie is the absolute best woman I've ever been with. This is her third marrage as well so she knew what she wanted as well and lucky for me it was me. We found each other in the yahoopersonals and we clicked right away. Even my family loves her, which is something I've never had before. My parents are very good at reading a person for example, the day of my first wedding my Dad pulled me to the side and told it it's not too late to back out that we could still have one hell of a party. I wish I would have listened, but I was 21 and very neive. As it turned out my first wife had been cheating on me from the begining and I was blind to it. That woman was pure evel! I could fill out page after page of things she's done. A couple years after being divorced I got my girlfriend pregnant and got married again. I was nuts about her but she didn't feel the same for me, so she was miserable which over time made me feel the same. She ended up being very hatefull which she still is. After that divorce and a couple years I did date a very nice woman but we just weren't right for each other. I ended up living alone for I think 15 years, 7 of which I didn't date. I had my daughter every weekend and just put time in with her. I was still very lonely and thought I'd never find anyone again. There were times I was pretty depressed but I have a great family and alot of friends who love me and have stuck with me through it all. Even though I don't go to church like I should, I have my faith, I'm Catholic and have my beliefs which have also helped me get through the bad times. I'm so glad I did too! I've never been happier! I never thought I'd find my soul mate, I didn't think she even existed, but I found her and also my best friend in Sharrie.

So don't give up guys it will get better. It may take a while and some trial and error but it will get better. I'm proof of it.

 you know at first i didn't really believe any of that, well that was until last night. I met the most amazing girl last night and something just clicked between us. Today were goin on a 1st date  im nervous lol but unlike any other girl's something just feels right about her.

Let yall know how it went later tonight :hick:

Good luck man!!!

I agree with Vinnie....
I was married to my first husband when I was 19... I was pregnant when we got married and I thought I was in love with him.. when really I was in lust and had very low self esteem and he was a good looking guy who gave me attention and 'wanted' me. Well, we got married had my son, things were good for about a year, of course I still wasn't actually seeing him for who he was. I got pregnant again and that was when I started to see him for who he was... drinking, getting high, going out to bars without me... and I figured out what everyone had been telling me was true... he was running around on me. After our second son was about a year old (3 years into the marriage), he finally left me and the boys. I tried all I could to get him to come back, because I still thought I was in love with him. In reality I was afraid to be alone... and I was now a single mom with 2 kids.. who would want to be with me?
Fast forward about 4 years and I took the boys to Colorado to see their bio-dad... that is where I met my current husband (Roger). He and I got together because well, to be honest I thought he was hot and my ex didn't like him so it was icing on the cake. We fooled around for a month or so, then I came back home with my boys and remained friends with Rog and we talked on the phone for a while after that. We lost touch with each other for about a year and a half, when out of the blue he called me. We ended up talking all the time and eventually he decided to move to where I was living. He stayed with my friend and her husband for a few months, during which we decided to date each other.  I ended up pregnant with out daughter and we got married a little less than a year and a half after she was born.  We've now been married almost 11 years, been together for 13 years.
We were friends for a while before we actually started dating... I know it was kind of messed up because we started out just fooling around with each other, then became friends, then dated and finally got married. But we have a good marriage. We are able to talk to each other about anything... and we talk several times a day, even when he's working (he's a truck driver so he can talk whenever he wants to).  We hang out together all the time and we have fun together. We do argue, but usually not because we are mad at each other, it's usually because one of the teen kids has done something stupid and we are mad at them and end up taking it out on each other... but we know we are safe in doing so because we know neither of us is going anywhere. Then we realize why we are arguing and discover we both have the same opinion on whatever it was... it's just stress that got us going to begin with.
BTW, he also adopted my boys 6 years ago and he has been the only father they have ever really known.. my ex had very little to do with them the entire time they were growing up. The boys both took his last name and are very proud to have it.
We are also still part of my ex in-law's family. They consider me their daughter and Roger as their son-in-law. It kind of  off my ex, but he didn't live int eh area for over 15 years, and I took the kids to see his family all the time, so I never really lost being part of their family. They also treat my step daughters as their grandchildren.

Anyway, to answer the original question, no I don't see dating as prostitution... unless you are only dating the other person so you can get a piece and you think that buys in a movie ticket and dinner will get you shag in the end. However, real dating is supposed to be so you can get to know each other... over a long period of time, to know if you are compatible with each other. I find that in this day and age, dating is used to get shag from someone and if a baby results from it.,. well then "I guess we have to get married. "  It's used as a means to have shag with someone rather than getting to know them and forming a bond/friendship with them.

I wouldn't want to have to start dating again... and I admit, if I was to lose Roger for any reason, I would probably stay single for a long time.. I just can't see being married to anyone else. He's my friend, he's a great father and grandfather.. he treats me very well, he's responsible, loving and all around good guy. I just don't know if I could find anyone else who is as good to me as he is... and I don't know that I'd want to if I lost him for any reason.  It wouldn't be fair to any other guy really, because I think I'd always be comparing him to Rog.

Karen, you little sweetie. We always seem to think alike.

Thanks dude, and tonight well it was the best night of my life no lie !

:tg: ........



[SIZE="1"]Sorry, have always wanted to use that one...lol[/SIZE]

That's awsome man!! I hope it continues to go well!

I think you have to be tested, so you know what to appreciate later in life.

Nicole and I met in January '08..we both were seeing the light after bad relationships. She got pregnant, and we had some hard times, but we worked through them. She moved in, and I landed a full time job. In November, Cole was born, and that was a whole new ballgame. But I loved every second of it. Nicole and I talked about marriage, but nothing too serious. We decided to try for another baby, (crazy, I know...2 kids in less than 2 years..) Annika was born February 17, 2010.
We got on with the marriage planning, and October 30th was the day.

There comes a time when you feel in your heart that this is everything you'll ever want. It's been nearly 3 years for me, and that feeling has only gotten stronger.

I wish everyone could know this feeling.

Besides not having any time for a relationship, I have this question that no one can give me a good answer for ....
 " Please tell me how my life would be any better by being in a relationship " 
When I get a good answer to that question I may consider dating again , but right now I'm not seeing any benefit to having a woman at all ,I have everything I need. 



 *and shag is NOT a reason

My answer to your question......

Now,this is of course my own opinion,as we all have our own reasons....

 As I stated earlier in this thread,I've been single,and I've been married. married life is a lot better. I have a great wife who is most everything to me. My wife,my best friend,my companion. Some people like to be alone. A person can be in the middle of a thousand people and still be alone. I like knowing that there's someone to wake up to,and go to bed with (not talking shag). It's a feeling you can't know unless you have actually felt it.

If one is a very selfish person,than the single life is where that person needs to be. I like having a family (even if it was just me and the wife,she's still my family). Not talking "I have my Mommy and Daddy" family.

I am lucky to have a woman who is very smart,trustworthy,and trusting. She works hard and takes good care of me and the household (I do as well).We are a great team. Personally,I'd hate to wake up one day, being 50 years old,look around and be alone. Belongings aren't anything I "Need". It's stuff that can be replaced with a little effort. Having THAT one person in your life beats it hands down. What do we "Need"? As humans,we need shelter,food,water,and love (No,I'm not gay....LOL).I have those things,I have what I need. I have cars,TV's,tools,and a lot of other stuff. Those are my "Wants".With a wife,I always have a date to anything and anywhere I want to go (luckily she's a pretty girl). I am too old to be running around with the young kids (18-25 or whatever). Not old,just too old to be doing the stuff I did when I was 20. I'm actually happier every year that goes by more that when I was much younger. I think it's a different attitude,and a clearer vision of what is truly important in my life.

Some people are designed to be by themselves,and find happiness in that. I'm not one of those people. I left my parent's house when I was 17 (almost 18) half way through my senior year and never went back. With Gayle,I can always depend that she's there to talk to,tease,hang out with, anything. My best everything.Plus,my other side. Where I like to kid around a lot, sometimes my temper gets pretty assertive,and she has a very serious,even keel about her. Not a real humorous person (she's funnier when she's serious),but she balances my life more than she knows.

SOOOO,in a nutshell, It's good to have a woman for love,balance,and because we,as humans,were meant to have someone to spend our lives with and to share life with.

(sorry if it all doesn't make sense,I just typed it as I was thinking it and don't want to edit).

my answer to your question would be to be happy, stuff dont make you happy but the love of a good women will. Trust me i felt the same way until i met brittany and to be honest she completes me, now im glad i decided to date again because before i just said F it cause i had been hurt and didn't want to deal with it anymore. But some friends and family talked some sense into my thick headed self lol.

Sounds like you have a good thing Vinnie , now me , I  have been married , twice in fact , I'm not against marriage at all , but I have my family , it includes me, my 3 little ones as well my 4 older step children (technically orphans as both their biological parents are deceased), We just don't have Mommy anymore  and I am content that way .
Now I am many things but selfish I would not use as an adjective for me (not that you were either) , I'm just at a point where I don't "need" that date when I go somewhere I'm cool going by myself or with my kids . My kids give me more love than any woman I have ever been involved with, including their mother , and its unconditional love too (something that is lacking in most  (not all) man/woman  scenarios.
 I guess I just don't see things the same way as you see them , not that my way is right of course just different than yours , BUT I will say when I was younger I thought I needed to have a woman to be happy I just don't feel that way anymore .That of course may change someday  , most likely when my youngsters become teens and decide that Dad is lame and they dont want to be around me lol.

I also would like to clarify when I say I have everything I need I'm not talking about material  possessions

Hey,I totally respect your side of it. There's no right or wrong, or any "correct" way it has to be. In the end,if you're happy,then that is good. I'm happy,my life is good,so,That's right for me. No two situations can be just alike. Very similar, but not just alike. As long as you are content,at peace,and your life is good,then I have to say you are doing what is right for you. One day,you may meet someone who changes your mind. Until then, if you're happy,then that is ALL that matters.

This, to infinity.

I've had a time or two in my life where I didn't want to be with anyone. But I changed eventually, and in a very long, arduous circle, I met Nicole. But, as Vinnie said in the quote, as long as you're doing what makes you happy, and it works for you and your youngin's, then that is best. Only you truly know what you want, the rest of us have no need to judgment on your choice (not that we are, I think). :D:bowdown: