Fox T-Bird/Cougar Forums

... really?  I talked to him on AIM a while back and he never mentioned anything about it.  Is he aware of this administrative action?  Heh.

If he wants to come back he's more than welcome

You're just SO ****ing innocent, Eric. What were those PMs about wishing my entire ****ing state would fall off into the ocean and take me with it? Beat any dogs lately? Scumbag. You're truly a lowlife piece of shiznit, and that's saying something coming from a guy who most would consider a loser. (and hey, there's probably more than a grain of truth to it) Whatever I may be, and it probably isn't good.. I will always think you're beneath me, Eric. But hey, keep living in your little world filled with people who will suck your dick and prop you up just because they secretly want first crack at that  overdone ragtop of yours if and when you finally tire of it. Of course it'll be the one thing you hang onto until your dying day, and you can't take it with you when you go, so it will have ultimately meant nothing. Know that SNL skit with the guy humping his Mercury? That's a good start on how I see ya, pal.

Figures some shiznit-stirring little ****up like JeremyB would be poking around looking for trouble and bring my name up. What, was it a slow week and you felt like throwing your toys out of the crib for no particular reason? I was content to quietly visit the board every so often without being logged in, and was perfectly happy with not being mentioned by anyone. Aside from Tom, Paul, Oldraven, the guy that bought my '86, and the people on my AIM list, I don't give a shiznit how most of you feel about me, good or bad.. and I'm not sorry if that offends you. Most people these days only seem to be pretending to give a **** what anyone else thinks if they're not ****ing them or trying to get ****ed, (and even then they're probably still pretending) so at least I'm giving you the courtesy of being honest.

If any of you must know why I left, (and left quietly in PMs, unlike drama-queen Claude among others.. betcha forgot about that one, huh?) I'm trying to get my shiznit together. Trying to reduce stress.. lower my blood pressure.. focus on learning a trade skill.. and none of that is served well by posting regularly in a place so full of people I'm a world away from on worldview. You say I'm closed off to your opinions.. well did you ever think that maybe I've heard your opinions a million ****ing times already from all around me, and I disagreed with them then and you just don't have the charisma and strength of personality to alter that? (and there's nothing wrong with that.. people disagree.. shiznit happens) It's not so much your opinions that aggravate me most of the time, it's that it gets annoyingly repetitive after awhile.. and so many opinions these days are so polarized. I'm not a Demo or Repugnant.. I'm not a christian or a muslim.. I'm not a patriot or a terrorist.. and it's really hard to deal with that sometimes when you're surrounded by people who think along the lines of "well if you're not X, you must be Y". I try to wake up most days pretty calm and neutral about the world around me, with a sense of wonder of the majesty of the natural world around me.. but then I see some report of the latest nitwit who thought they saw Jesus in their morning power-dump and it all comes crashing down. The endless repetition of the quasi-conservative holier-than-thou jingoistic small-mindedness that's infecting this country (and the whiny insufferable holier-than-thou smarter-than-you claptrap of the minority on the other side of the same shiznit-covered coin) is like a hundred little crashes a day.

"Yuh don't like it, leeve!", some idiot redneck would say.. well that would be fine, and I'd love to move to some quiet little corner of New Zealand where no one will give a shiznit about all this madness, but it isn't that easy. It takes money, and lots of it.. it takes some really harsh choices about family.. and it takes a marketable skill. One I don't have.. the next I'm having a big struggle over.. and the last I'm working on. It doesn't happen overnight. What, did you think that everyone any of you have ever said that particular line to is going to say "Yes, you're quite right my good fellow, I do not like it here.. so I am going to up and move to Iraq tomorrow and if my family doesn't like it, well **** them with a fencepost!"? I'm unhappy, not stupid or completely thoughtless to those who DO matter to me.

At any rate, I doubt any of you will read most of that. (so really, I could've said whatever the **** I wanted to) You'll just look for parts where you may have been mentioned or may have found something to be offended about, and harp on about that for awhile until you get whatever bug's in your ass, out. That's fine. Who knows if I'll keep to it, but I really don't intend on following up this post. I've already doubled my blood pressure medication three times, I'm on my second anti-depressant, I'm on the aspirin anti-heart-attack regimen, and I'm overdue for a visit for the heart doctor. Not how I envisioned spending the 35th year of my life.. and I don't need to be adding to all that by getting caught up in the madness again. Two episodes of chest pains in six months is enough, thanks. You all have fun bitching and moaning that this post was too long or that I said **** too many times or that it didn't rain 50 dollar bills or whatever.

At any rate, I doubt any of you will read most of that. (so really, I could've said whatever the **** I wanted to) You'll just look for parts where you may have been mentioned or may have found something to be offended about, and harp on about that for awhile until you get whatever bug's in your ass, out. That's fine. Who knows if I'll keep to it, but I really don't intend on following up this post. I've already doubled my blood pressure medication three times, I'm on my second anti-depressant, I'm on the aspirin anti-heart-attack regimen, and I'm overdue for a visit for the heart doctor. Not how I envisioned spending the 35th year of my life.. and I don't need to be adding to all that by getting caught up in the madness again. Two episodes of chest pains in six months is enough, thanks. You all have fun bitching and moaning that this post was too long or that I said **** too many times or that it didn't rain 50 dollar bills or whatever.

What were those PMs about wishing my entire ****ing state would fall off into the ocean and take me with it?

And Eric, as far as Florida falling in the ocean...everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic
anyway! ;)

if your a good person you'll hope he pulls through, or you can be a complete inconsiderate, untollerable, narcisistic dick.

if your a good person you'll hope he pulls through, or you can be a complete inconsiderate, untollerable, narcisistic dick.

first off, im not taking sides............................................................................................. if your a good person you'll hope he pulls through, or you can be a complete inconsiderate, untollerable, narcisistic dick.

I'm a good person.
I used to truly care about him.
I used to try and be tolerant about his rants.
3+ years of shiznit so thick you couldn't shovel it anymore, all the while degrading, deriding, condescending, attacking and annoying virtually everyone on this board...that's what did it.

When someone comes into your house day after day, starts breaking all your valuables, yells and screams at you, curls into a ball in the corner and starts crying, saying it's all your fault, and then leaves without a hint of an apology...what exactly would you do again? His being on medication or not, you'll be pissed sooner or later. It all depends on how much of that kind of BS you want to put up with. He can go about his business and rant all he wants. It's a free world. He's just not doing it here.

If that makes me a dick...so be it. I honestly don't care what people think of me. There are way too many other things in life that are way more important. But when someone can't play nicely with others in the sandbox, the admins have the responsibility to do something...and we did. It's been an extremely smooth board without him, at least until this thread resurrected all the .

What was there to do about me, Eric? Nothing.. I was the one who quietly disconnected myself from here.. I was happy to leave myself logged out and maybe click the link back here every couple weeks or so and not post a  thing. Even through the beginning of this shiznit-stirring thread I was content to let it slide until you opened your ****ing mouth and added to the problem. Some ****ing admin you are, bubba. "Yeah, I'm going to solve the problem by running my mouth like an ignorant little pen 15sucker". That worked REALLY well. What a man you are.

So it looks like you ****ed around with my account while I had been away for weeks or months, and made it so my posts wouldn't automatically show up for everyone. What was the point? I told Carmen I was stepping back from posting here, thanks for everything, see ya 'round, whatever. You "solved" a problem that didn't exist anymore. Just like JeremyB going fishing for my profile when I hadn't posted in a long time.. I think you went looking for something to **** with, with your favorite person to **** with whenever you get a wild hair up your ass. It's easy to demonize me, especially when I'm not around, isn't it?

Autocat nailed it on the head.. some of you people have no ****ing clue how it feels to be messed up all the time. Constantly unable to focus on anything. Anxious about everything, no matter how trivial. At the time I left I was in clear overdose of the last anti-depressant I was on.. took me a month or two just to get that even reasonably under control.. and then coming off that, the major depression kicks in. I've spent nights lately telling myself not to blow my ****ing head off.. then telling myself it's just the gap in between the old meds and the new meds, and I'll get through it eventually. When you go through shiznit like that, you have NO patience left for someone else's bug up their ass about Arabs or Rosie fat-**** O'Donnell or Toyota in TRASHCAR or whatever the average mouthy redneck is bitching about these days. But of course, you'll just blow all this shiznit off as me complaining again and go right back to demonizing the different guy.

Let me further illustrate that difference: If I had said I left here to get my act together and find g*d or some bullshiznit like that, I'm guessing you all would have a much more forgiving attitude because that's the standard cry of the weak when they wanna absolve themselves of all the stupid shiznit they've done in the past and carry on as if nothing happened. "g*d'll forgive me.. it worked for Mike Tyson, so it'll work for a ****up like me! Yee-Haw!" Me, on the other hand, I'm not going to sit here and claim I haven't said and done some REALLY annoying things here and everywhere else I've been.. but I'm not going to pretend that finding some fictitious character from an old book and a hokey old religion would suddenly make everything peachy-keen between me and the rest of the world.

As for apologies.. most of the time I don't bother. What has been said, has been said.. if some here were truly offended by it, some weak-ass apology isn't going to cut it.. and frankly, I save the meaningful apologies for the people who matter, for the times when it really matters to make such an apology. Anyway, just about everyone who has ever liked me as a person has hated me at one point.. so I'm used to it. (the being hated part, that is)

Yeah, Eric, you "truly used to care".. for what, five minutes? You and I haven't got along for more than that in this whole time I've been around. You "cared" just long enough to be able to claim you did, and then realized, "Hey.. whenever my life is g in my Corn Flakes, this looks like a good guy to rag on to make myself feel better!". Whatever floats your boat.. you wouldn't be the first, and I've been all too glad to return the favor anytime you felt the need.

I made my post before, and this reply to your verbal diarrhea, with the hopes that you kids (mental age) would all get it out of your system and move on. Whatever bug crawled up your asses that made you decide to dredge up my name after months of inactivity, hopefully bitching about these posts will clear it up and you'll go back to whatever it is you were doing. Find someone new to be your faceless enemy of convenience. "But Ben, you're not faceless.. we know your name.." you might think. Well the only reason you know my name is because Tom used it. It had always been my intent to try to keep this place somewhat at arm's reach. (and I'm not the only one who isn't comfortable with the first-name-basis thing) Had he discussed it with me beforehand, I'd have asked him not to.. but Tom's a good guy, so I forgive him. You all could stand to learn a few things from him that aren't car-related.

Oh, and one last thing: Keep going on and on about how I'm such an evil pot smoker when A) some of your fellow boardmates smoke far more than I do and may eventually tire of your idiotic antics, and B) I haven't smoked in months. Even if I were still smoking, it wouldn't be more than an occasional thing because it's way too easy to lose yourself in it, and wake up realizing you just blew a month or two of your life away laying on the couch. That's counterproductive to my efforts to get out of this hole I'm in.

Have a day, ladies.

Just like JeremyB going fishing for my profile when I hadn't posted in a long time.. I think you went looking for something to **** with, with your favorite person to **** with whenever you get a wild hair up your ass.

If any of you must know why I left, (and left quietly in PMs, unlike drama-queen Claude among others.. betcha forgot about that one, huh?) I'm trying to get my shiznit together. Trying to reduce stress.. lower my blood pressure.. focus on learning a trade skill.. and none of that is served well by posting regularly in a place so full of people I'm a world away from on worldview.

..

For the record, Ben, Eric did not unilaterally "fvck" with your account. As admins we have a responsibility to keep the peace here. There are over 1500 members of this board, and some are not going to get along with others. Most admins of other boards would have banned you for some of your posts and been done with it. In fact, most admins especially don't take kindly to attacking them directly and personally - the fact Eric didn't ban your ass the first time says a lot for his integrity. We all decided that something had to be done, and we all decided that "Coventry" (which, BTW, is the name for being placed in a universal ignore list instead of being banned outright) was the best option. That way all of your posts, post counts, rep points, and everything else to do with your membership remain intact, should you get well and decide to return.

And as for "Counterproductive": Believe me, and I speak from experience - nothing is more counterproductive than miring yourself i self pity and bitterness. I was in that situation after my career-ending car accident in 1998, and I was spiraling in a big way. It was actually a near tragedy that shook me out of my funk and made me sit up and realize: The world isn't going to come to me to make things better. I had to be proactive about it. That "near tragedy"? When I bounced my '88 Cougar off a tractor trailer at 60 MPH in April, 1999. I had been seeing a therapist over depression before that accident and saw him immediately after, and when he asked me if the accident was really an "accident", it made me think. Consciously it was certainly an accident, as I certainly didn't make the conscious decision to stuff my car into a moving target of 40 tons of carrots, but maybe sub-consciously... I know that at that point I really didn't give a rat's ass about anything. That changed overnight, when I realized I was killing myself.

I hope that you can pull yourself out of your hole as well, Ben before tragedy strikes you, but I mean it (and mean no disrespect) when I say this: You, and only you, will pull yourself out of it.

Actually, I was trying to see what your opinions of Auto-RX were. You mentioned that you were going to use it in your Mark. My interests were piqued when I noticed everything but your profile was wiped from existence. I should have just PM'd a mod to see what was up.

Please don't take this as an attack, but how can you do these things if certain people here get you so worked up that you have to post 6 paragraphs about it 2 times?

I'm in no way perfect and have had my own personal wars with people (remember tbirdkid1987?), but you're letting it get to you too easily.  Just let it roll off your back ,dude.  It aint worth getting mad and taking it out on people you actually live with.

wheres post number 44!

I don't want your sympathy, I don't want your understanding, the only thing I want is for this shiznit to end. My problems, the problems with my name being dredged up on this board, whatever. You are not helping matters one bit by allowing this to continue. I'm doing what I can, when I can, to deal with things on my end. The ball's in your court now. I'll gladly stop this temporary visit.. but please, end this shiznit now.